Monday, June 26, 2006

Truths

  1. Sand-Dune Two-Step: A Puerto-Rican guy did teach me the two-step, during Desert Storm. We had this goofy way of killing time called 'Club Sand'. You don't want to know anything else.
  2. Satanic Cult Adventure: I did shoot bottle rockets at devil worshippers. It was the climactic ending to the scariest thing that ever happened to me. I'll tell you personally some time when we have two hours to kill together.
  3. Rodent Claw: BIG FAT LIE
  4. Wedged Corpse: An ER tech taught me the trick to getting the corpse centered on the bottom tray. It was hard to lower the dead weight down and not get it all 'caddywhumpus'. So the next time I went to the morgue with a new ER tech, I tried to impress her with my trick and got the guy wedged way in the back, looking at us with dead, but no less disappointed eyes. Her response was, "Ohhh, we're going to hell."
  5. Three Home Runs: BIG FAT LIE
  6. Guitar Lightning Strike: I probably phrased this poorly. The guys house got struck by lightning and he got electrocuted. When he came back to school, he was all proud and excited - "It's all about the music, Dude!" He was a spaz.
  7. Golf-Course Arson: We were lighting sticks and pretending they were cigarettes. A casual toss over someone's shoulder lit the adjoining golf course on fire. All I can say is, I hung with a bad crowd in third grade.
  8. Patien't Femeral Head Drop: It was an honest mistake - but a terrible one. I got yelled at by that Arabic surgeon way more than any drill-sargeant in the Army ever yelled at me.
  9. Bono's Brother: BIG FAT LIE
  10. Burning Shoe: They were 'jumping jacks'. The game was like, my friend would light one and throw it, and I'd try to kick it while it was spinning. This particular one shot straight up into the air when I got close to it, and dropped straight into my open, high-top shoe - as was the style in the mid-eighties. Sixteen year olds are stupid.

Shorty and Bunnyjo tie at three wrong each. It's good to have a family that knows you and loves you, and can see through your tangled web of lies. Wait.... I just recounted. Bunny only got two wrong. CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE OUR BIG WINNER! Now I know which sister I have a better chance of lying to.

Date night

Cindy and Wendy, Me and Cindy, some weird bugswarms, and
Wendy does something weird with her head that makes me laugh

We usually like to go on our dates alone, but we invited Wendy (Cindy's twin) along to go dancing - her husband's cool but dancing is not his thing. So, she became our designated driver, subsequently providing a fun-intensive environment for Cindy and myself. She got hit on a couple times, asked to dance and that kind of thing, then one guy, who come to our table on his friend's behalf, assumed I was with both of them and called me a lucky ba###rd. The highlight of the night, for me, was when they played that 90's dance-song, 'Push-it'. We played a game where every time they said 'push-it', we'd shove each other........ ahhhhh........ good times. Anyway, we really had fun with her, so much so, that we'll probably invite her on occasional future dates. (also cuz the, um, place where bands play gave us all a free pass for a night when they have comedy and a band) Thanks for a good time, Wendy, and I mean that in the cleanest, 'brother-in-lawly' sort of way.
If you can zoom in on the name just above my head, some of you may experience, well, 'mixed' emotions.
On a side note, we saw something weird on the way to the, um, place where bands play - there were hundreds of these wispy black tendrils reaching into the sky. It was so bizarre that we just had to pull over and figure out what it was. All we could tell was that they were some kind of strange swarms of insects in upright colomns probably thirty feet high. I don't know why they were doing it, but I took this picture cuz I thought maybe one of the smart internet people would be able to figure it out. I actually put the worst of the two photos in the collage by mistake, but I'm not going back to change it, so this is all you get - deal with it.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

The computer spit out your grades

(this whole post has to do with a contest from a few posts back, so if you're out of touch, go back and read this before you read this)


The answers:

1. Dr. Donald Blake - G. Thor
2. Bruce Banner - H. The Hulk
3. Bruce Wayne - B. Batman
4. Clark Kent - F. Superman
5. Peter Parker - A. Spiderman
6. Tony Stark - E. Ironman
7. Steve Rogers - D. Captain America
8. Hal Jordan - C. Green Lantern

Superhero's without actual superpowers: Batman and Captain America. Ironman and Green Lantern are a sort of a grey area because they have special items which give them powers.

Chilldaddy's favorite superhero: SPIDERMAN FOREVER BABY!

Chilldaddy's real life super-powers: None. I'm a pathetic loser. I was just fishing for compliments, so if you listed any whatsoever, I'll give you credit.

The winner: Virtual Junk Drawer. Congratulations, my friend - you worked hard, and you deserve this moment. (turns out the yodel-off won't be necessary)

The runner-up: Lisa. Simply by giving it a shot, she comes in second because nobody else made a serious attempt.

The Prize: VJD gets to think of a name and/or power of one of the 'extranormals' in my new book. (I'll email you the details) Keep an eye on Chilldaddy for VJD's contribution.

The fate of the rest of the class: Lucky for y'all, I throw out the lowest grade, so those of you who failed to turn in your assignments can make it up on the next test - 'Believe it or Not'. Remember: taking a guess constitutes accepting a tag.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Believe it or not.

  • On the top of a sand-dune, in the middle of the wide-open desert, I learned to two-step from a Puerto-Rican man. (we weren't gay, just bored)
  • My friends and I broke up a satanic cult meeting by firing bottle-rockets down the sewer pipe they were meeting in.
  • In the middle of a delicious burger at a well-known fast-food joint, I found some sort of rodent's claw.
  • I once got a human corpse wedged into the mechanism at the rear of the morgue-drawer because I thought I knew a trick for getting him centered on his autopsy tray.
  • When I was eleven, I hit three home-runs in one little-league game.
  • The bass-player in my high-school rock band got struck by lightning while playing his guitar in his basement.
  • I helped to accidently burn a sizeable chunk of a golf-course.
  • I dropped a guys femoral head (from his hip joint) on the floor during a surgery and got in a lot of trouble.
  • I sat across the aisle from Bono's brother on a plane one time - he was trying hard not to be irate by being bumped down from first class.
  • Not to combine previous statements, but I also accidently burned up my own shoe in a fireworks mishap - while I was wearing it.

Some of these statements are true, some are not. My family members that read the blog will recognize most of the stories, but I'll bet there are a few they haven't heard. Since most of them are true, your mission is to guess which ones are false. Then consider yourself tagged.

I have to check the blog by-laws, but I believe it's okay to start a new contest before you've finished an older one. I'm referring, of course, to the 'superhero secret identity quiz' a few posts down, which happens to be getting cold and lonely - show your love, pay it a visit.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

No creative title available



This is probably the last bit of artwork I'll post for a while, I want to avoid becoming tiresome.

The shelf I mentioned a few posts back is going up today, There're only two books I haven't printed yet because I'm procrastinating editing them - it's not fun y'all - or cheap. If PinkChick is out there anywhere, let her know that the first two Mythicon books are ready to be borrowed from the library.

Anyhow, I'm posting this because I took some OLD sci-fi short stories (for adults, not juveniles) and put them in one collection, in one big three ring binder - so naturally, I needed another book-cover. I like the way it looks, but I'm less than thrilled with the title. Tell me what you think?

My short stories range in length from 22 - 67 pages, plenty short enough to read on the computer screen, doncha think? Let me know if any of you would like some emailed to you.

As for the superhero contest, I'm thinking of extending the deadline to Friday, just cuz I know so many of you need the extra time to do the research (in other words - not enough people have played yet).

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Imprisoned in high-tech luxery


I was stalled in my writing for the last two days because I got to the part where Psychon is giving Zephyr a tour around the underground complex. I realized, "Hmmm... I don't really know what this place looks like."

Since 80% of the story takes place here, I figured I'd better stop, and make it as detailed and well thought out as possible. I made this file too small for you to read the labels in all the rooms, but if you all buy a copy when it gets published, I'll throw in a complimentary floorplan. (It'd suck if I bought a copy of your superhero novel and found that it took place in the secret underground complex I designed - I don't trust none-a-youse-guys)

I don't know about you, but I love reading a story where the writer supplies a map of some kind and you can follow the protagonist's progress - makes it more interesting and helps me visualize the action.

Don't forget about the 'Superhero Alter-Ego contest' in the next post down. The person who gets the most correct answers by Monday gets to name a superhero in my book (or have them named after you).

Superhero alter-egos

1. Dr. Donald Blake
2. Bruce Banner
3. Bruce Wayne
4. Clark Kent
5. Peter Parker
6. Tony Stark
7. Steve Rogers
8. Hal Jordan

A. Spiderman
B. Batman
C. Green Lantern
D. Captain America
E. Ironman
F. Superman
G. Thor
H. Hulk

Because superheroes are so topical and crucial at the moment, I thought I'd encourage you all to be thinking more about them. The winner of this little matching test gets to name an original superhero appearing in my next book.

By the way, my recent research indicates that it is almost impossible to come up with an original super-hero name, do you know that over that last fifty years, there've been thousands upon thousands of superheroes created? It almost makes me wonder why I'd bother adding to it.

The answer is simple: I like superheroes and I enjoy making them up.

(bonus question: name the superheroes listed above that do not have any super powers)
(double bonus: who's my favorite superhero?)
(triple bonus: name two out of three of Chilldaddy's real-life super powers)

Saturday, June 10, 2006

A 'non-post' - for no good reason


Don't have much to say. I've been writing, working, parenting and all my other usual whatnot.

One might ask, "So why bother blogging?"

A fair question. The answer is actually twofold: one, if I go more then ten days without blogging, my comment section fills up with pleading messages from hurt and disappointed people, and two, it's been quite a while since I reminded everyone of what a 'babe' I'm married to.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Unexpected progress


I recommend writing novels as a way to recuperate after a horrific car-accident. It's very therapeautic. I've written two chapters on my new book , 'Silverwing' since yesterday. (click here to learn more about the accident). Here are some drawings of the two main 'extranormals'. As you can see NEITHER OF THEM ARE WEREWOLVES.




Here's a quick excerpt of the two character's first meeting:

Moments later, the crowd ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ again as a grey blur streaked over their heads towards the water tower.

Eric landed and smiled at one of his real-life heroes.

The silver-skinned figure before him looked as if he might have once been a normal young man. He had pupil-less eyes, a nostril-less nose, and a silver mouth filled with silver teeth. His full head of shaggy hair was also silver and seemed to be made out of thick strands of soft metal.

The super-hero looked at Eric with strange concern and asked, “Are you Veloci-boy?”

With mock-suspicion, Eric asked, “That depends, are you Silver?”

It was meant to be a joke. It was obvious who each of them was, but Silver wasn’t laughing.

“You and I need to talk.”

Exciting book covers


I've been printing out manuscripts and putting them in three-ring binders, the kinds with windows on the covers. Because the pile of binders is growing, I want to put up a shelf and line the boys up with titles and by-lines showing, it's kind of a vanity thing I suppose. So, here are my covers for the Mythicon series.

Here's the one from my latest book, 'The Runaway Apprentice'. Incidentally, this is what Cindy was reading when we smashed into the white car on our way to work yesterday.